If I look at my past and the damage I have done in so many areas over the years, it is easy to see that I do not deserve the life I have today. I am richly blessed. There was a time when seeing and or feeling how little I deserved one particular good thing in my life or another would have started a chain reaction within me that would lead to me doing something to push that good thing out of my life or destroy it. I never wanted all the destruction and negative results to manifest, but I felt comfortable with them. I felt I deserved them. When I didn't feel I deserved the love and good in my life I didn't trust it, couldn't trust it. Today I understand what is so amazing about grace. How special it is to have an undeserved second chance. I don't have to push that away or protect myself from it. I treasure it and guard it.
It is true that if you have never tasted the bitter then you can not truly appreciate the sweet. Today I want to appreciate the sweet instead of expecting it to turn bitter because I have tasted that so often.
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