Sick

It's difficult for me to think today. I find that when I am physically ill it becomes increasingly harder to get my thoughts off myself. And not only do I focus more on myself but I focus almost entirely on how I feel and my situation. This isn't a very good thing. Selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of my problem. It is natural to be more self-centered when ill, but I have to fight it. I can not allow my sickness to be an excuse to wallow in self-pity or become self-centered. For one thing, I can quickly become too comfortable in that state of being. Secondly, if I allow exceptions for illness how long before I begin allowing exceptions for other things, such as hurt feelings and situations not going my way? I have to push through my feelings and gain that conscious contact with God. I also have to realize that when I am weakened physically I am also affected spiritually, mentally and emotionally. This means I am more vulnerable to fall out of using the tools I have been given and to slip back into old reaction patterns. I have to take care of myself. That in itself is an interesting proposition. I must take care of myself more to insure I don't become more self-centered and focused. So how can I accomplish the one without feeding the other? I need to take care of myself by seeking time with my Higher Power. I need to take care of myself by resting so that my body can recover. And I need to take care of myself by listening to current and temporary limitations and not pushing myself to perform and be at the levels I am when I am well. So today I am going to spend a little extra time in meditation, take some medicine and copious amounts of vitamin C, rest and experiment with the theory that staying well spiritually and working on improving ,my spiritual condition may actually improve my physical condition more quickly.