All my life I had an emptiness within. I like to call it a God-sized hole in my heart and life. When I filled it with relationship with my Creator, life went well, but it never lasted because I had problems submitting to any authority, even God’s. When my relationship with God waned, I tried to fill that hole with other things. Anything. It didn’t work, and I became a slave to substitutes for spirituality.
It’s funny how the refusal to submit is what turns me into a slave. I don’t always understand the oxymoron that to be free I have to surrender, but I see the evidence of this truth. When I submit to the will of God, try to love and care for others rather than have others meet my needs, then I find myself free from the bondage of self, others and addiction. It goes against my nature to submit to anything, but when I change enough to trust God and give Him control, my life is better.
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