Dry Bones Dancing

"Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up." Psalm 5:1-3

Since the book of Psalms was originally a collection of songs, it's no surprise to me that so many of them have been set to music and used as praise, worship and prayer songs in modern times. The three verses I quoted above make up a song that I grew up singing in my father's church, and I woke up with the refrain repeating in my mind this morning.

I feel the weight on my emotions, and I know that my soul is crying out, but I'm not exactly sure in what way. I can't put it into words, not even to myself. But while I don't know exactly what the prayer of my heart is this morning, I know that at its root is please get this boulder off of me. I feel pinned beneath a a weight that I can not budge. My spirit weighs heavy against me.

But I know that God does not make too hard of terms with those who seek him. That doesn't mean that times won't be hard. For me, it means that my contract with my Creator does not have terms and conditions that I can not fulfill. I do not have to figure out how to remove the weight from my heart. I do not have to muster up the strength to pull myself out from underneath it or push it off me. I do not have to perform at some unattainable level of perfection in order to find relief.

My part of the agreement is simply this, heavy heart or light, I surrender to Him. When everything is going my way and when nothing is, I walk in what He has called me and taught me to the best of my ability and trust Him to give me the grace and strength to complete the journey. My part is to cry out to Him when I weary and let Him carry the burden. Jesus tells me to come to Him when I am weary and heavy laden and that when I do that, He will make my burden light. That means that I will have access to His strength to do whatever it is I need to do. I know that I can cast my cares on Him, for He cares for me.

It is so wonderful to be reminded that God loves and cares for me. I need that more than ever when the circumstances of my life would testify to the opposite. But circumstances are not my God nor my truth. There was a time when feeling such a weight on my soul and mourning the loss of my own dreams and desires I would react in self-pity and seek oblivion. Today, I know that if I lose a dream of my own, that God will replace it with Him dream for me, which is infinitely better and more satisfying. To surrender to His dream for me can even simply prepare me to better handle the fulfillment of my own dream later on down the road. If there's one thing I have learned, I know that death, even of dreams, is not the end of the story with God. He has proven able to revive old, dry bones into living beings able to dance for the world to see.

So I cry out to my Daddy, listen to my words, and when I don't have the words, understand and listen to my heavy sighs. Listen to my cries for help, for I know that you are my help, and I know that I am powerless to help myself. That's why I run to You. I know my Creator is holy and perfect and will not associate with evil, but though I myself am still evil in part, I rely on Your great mercy to allow me to come to You and fellowship with You. I can enter Your house, though I have done nothing to earn that right. I will come in to Your presence with reverence because I know that I didn't do anything to deserve to be there. Lead and guide me Lord. I need Your direction because my mind is my enemy and it deceives me and taunts me to go toward my own destruction. Banish those strongholds within my mind that refuse to surrender to You and Your will for me, because I know that the thoughts which would lead me from You or cause me to run from You are an open grave waiting to be filled. "(verse 11) But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you." Yes, let me find my safety in You, and may that safety bring gladness to my heart to replace the fear and heaviness. For I am sure that You bless those who seek You in earnest and surround them with Your favor as with a shield. When I seek You I am protected from the pain and fear of calamity, if not from calamity itself. If I am to be destroyed, then let it be done in such a way that my destruction and or reconstruction shows others Your power and willingness to deliver. Like dry bones dancing in the desert, let it be obvious that any life in me is because of and from You. God, I offer myself to You — to build with me and to do with me as You will (that includes working how and where You want me to work, to help those You would have me help, and to give up any part of me that You need me to let go of). Relieve me of the bondage of self (and the need to protect my own dreams and desires), that I may better do Your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way of life (and how much better Your power, love and way of life is than anything I could have on my own). May I do Your will always! My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad, dreams and fears. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character, every habit of thought, every selfish desire, which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do what You would have me do. Fill these dry bones with Your quickening water that I might dance for Your glory and be a living testimony of Your deliverance.