Traction

Today is my wife's birthday and the day we make our monthly trip to the lake. The night we truly became a couple, I took her to one of my most special places, and we return there every month. It's a special tradition that I treasure.

On the way home, I hit a pot hole in the road that shook us a little, and Leah said, "There's a pot hole there." I said, "I know. I found it." Normally, that would have been the end of the incident, but I realized something a few seconds later. As we entered the turn in the road just past the pot hole, I noticed that it was the same spot in the road that I fishtailed all over the road and nearly wrecked during the ice storm a couple of months ago. I have no doubt that the pot hole I hit tonight was the same one that sent us sliding before.

So, what was the difference between tonight and the afternoon a couple of months ago? Ice. Tonight I had good traction and dry ground. Last time, the road was slick and covered in ice, and when we hit the pot hole I lost control of the vehicle. The similarity with this and sobriety entered my thoughts as I safely exited the turn and continued on down the road.

I have a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintanence of my spiritual condition. I don't have to beware of triggers or worry about where I can and can't go. When I am spiritually fit, it's like driving on a dry highway. I have plenty of traction to maneuver, and life's pot holes don't cause a serious problem. But when I am not spiritually fit and try to live as though I am it's like driving on an icy road as if it were not icy. I may go along fine for miles without a problem, but sooner or later I will find a curve that is too sharp or a pot hole I didn't expect. Then, the lack of traction causes me to loose all control and my life becomes a series of fishtailing actions to attempt to recover. The question stops being if I'll wreck and becomes how bad is the wreck going to be.

Maintaining my relationship with God is like making sure I have the traction of a dry highway under the vehicle of my life. I can go faster, be and feel safer, and not be afraid that something bad might happen at any second. When I feel that my relationship is not right, it's like the roads being badly iced over. I slow down, don't go anywhere I don't have to, and warm my roads with the sunlight of the Spirit to melt the ice and renew my relationship with God. The most dangerous times are when I don't realize that I have let my relationship dwindle, when I don't realize that there's still ice on the road and drive like there's not any. That's when I end up going to fast for the conditions and the pot holes send me sliding.

Tonight I am grateful that the pot hole barely registered. We didn't come close to leaving our lane, much less wrecking. But I am even more grateful for the object lesson that reminded me to check my road to recovery for ice, even in the summer. I can't let my heart grow cold towards God. I must maintain my relationship, for it is in relationship with Him that I find safety to travel, as well as peace, joy and love that gives me reason to live and spills out into the rest of my life and gives me all the other blessings I enjoy that make life worth living. Blessings like being able to enjoy celebrating Leah's birthday with her and having a special trip to the lake, because I don't spoil those moments by obsessing over alcohol or drugs, or worse, by using them. Thank you God for keeping my road to recovery free from ice and safe to travel, and especially thank you for my companions I get to travel with.