(Image 36 ~ I Miss The Rain...posted out of order due to having been unable to get previous images off memory card to post as I went) Spirituality is the key to unlocking the prison of fear in my life. My relationship with God is my one and only path to freedom, freedom from fear, from drugs and alcohol, freedom to be happy, joyous and serene. I am sitting on the porch, coffee beside me, cigarette burning, listening to the much needed rain dance on the leaves of the trees surrounding me, a special someone visible through the window to my left, and I think life is good. But then the thoughts and fears and worries of the day begin to try to crowd in, to force their way into my thoughts and distract me….control me. And the rain picks up a bit bringing me back to this moment. The moment when God says to me I provide for you, all that you need I will give you if you will trust me and let me because I love you, just as I provide rain to give life to the planet that I created out of love. The frustrations of life, the little annoyances, the things that don’t go my way, how do they matter on the scale of eternity? They don’t. Most of the things that cause me worry and stress today won’t matter one bit, will barely be remembered a year from now. Those that are remembered will not feel as heavy. Does it matter in the eternal scheme of things if I don’t get everything I want today? No. But will it matter that I get what I need? Yes. And I have my needs. I woke to another day with breath in my lungs, a clear head, I am loved and can love others, I have a personal relationship with my creator, I have food to eat, a roof to shield me from the rain, and the tools I need to walk through one more day in service to God, my family, and my fellow man. I have everything I need to stay sober and build upon the foundation of the eternal. I am truly blessed, and for that I am grateful. I am grateful because I don’t deserve it, because I have done nothing and can do nothing to earn such blessing, mercy and grace from my creator. Because I was a dead man walking and now I live. This is a gift that lasts. Living rather than existing, hope outweighing fear, love crushing insecurity and self-hatred, peace conquering anxiety, joy erasing sadness, these are the gifts that stand the test of the eternal. These are what I will focus on today. LIFE ~ Living It For Eternity….grasping and living by this concept I begin to heal and live again.
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