Don't have to be a victim

I want, no I need to completely free myself of the victim’s mindset. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. Today when I slip into that victim mindset and start to feel that I am being abused or wronged or taken advantage of I must remember that I am not a victim of whoever I feel hurt by. No, I am a victim of my own expectations, my own choices and motives. When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my self-centered and unrealistic expectations I am hurt. When I allow others to be who they are, no matter how sick or contrary to what I would prefer, when I am honest with myself about my motives and desires, when I trust God and others to be who and what they are I can find serenity in the midst of any circumstance. I can trust.

But trusting does not mean becoming a doormat or allowing others to harm or control me. It does not mean that I am blind to the reasons why others are acting the way the are or why they are treating me any particular way, whether that be good or bad. It does not mean that I don’t look at my own motives when I ask myself why a person is reacting this way or that to me, or why I myself and reacting a certain way to them. I have to look at the danger…at the potential for harm as well as for good in every person or thing I allow to influence my life. If I put all my trust in God first and foremost, let Him guide me, concentrate on doing the next right thing for the right reasons then I become aware of the potential harm in situations and can avoid many. For those that can not be avoided I see that I am shielded and protected from the wounds that those people and situations would inflict upon me.