Living My Own Life

"There is one life to live for each of us: our own" - Euripedes

I would amend what Euripedes said by adding that my own life is not my own. It is the life that God gave me. I didn't ask for my life, earn my life or deserve my life. It is a gift from my Creator. And while in many respects I am no different from any other human that has ever lived, lives, or will ever live, in some respects I am uniquely and wonderfully made by God just as I am. No one else can live my life or do exactly what I can do, just as I can not live anyone else's life or do exactly what they can do. But my power and freedom come not from within or just bull headedly doing whatever I want or feel like doing. Living my life in the way that best benefits me and those that I love means that I must live my life and my life alone. I can not live yours or anyone else's. This doesn't just mean I can't enjoy the perks of the rich and famous. It also means that I can't tell someone else how they have to do even the smallest thing. I can show them what works for me and let it go at that.

I also can not live or have someone else's sobriety or control. I can not have someone I admire's sobriety by wishing for it, nor get it instantly by working for it. Theirs came after work and through the grace of God. It takes time. Mine does too. I also do not have to live in fear because of weaknesses I see in others. I must surrender my life and will over to God and do the work He would have me do. The rest will come. Remembering this helps me to not measure my insides by someone else's outsides.

Most importantly, living my own life means that God has a unique purpose for me that only I can fulfill, with His power, grace and help. If I don't do it, it may not get done. For me to have the most freedom, power and enjoyment in my life, I must surrender that life. In order for my life to be my own, my will can not be mine. Living by my own will takes away all freedom in my life and keeps me in bondage. Paradoxically, giving my will up and surrendering to God's will in my life enables me to be happy, joyous and free and equips me for the service that He needs of me. That is my goal, my dream today. No longer do I simply want to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I tried that, and nearly died in misery. I want to lose my life to my Creator's control, because I have learned that when I do that, He returns my life to me in much better shape than I could ever get it, and then and only then can I live my own life in a manner that makes it feel worthwhile to be alive.