Not Every Man Really Lives

Self obsession is to be occupied or filled with selfish affairs while ignoring others. When I am obsessed with myself I ignore God and others that I love. The acquaintance and the stranger don't even show up on my mental radar unless I see a way to get something for myself or improve my life in some way by using them. I live my life based on my selfish needs and desires. As long as my needs are met life is good, and I don't worry about others. And in my experience it soon follows my slipping into this attitude that I am completely empty of all but pain and misery. God wants my life to positively effect the lives of others. It's not all about me.

One of my favorite lines from the movie Braveheart is "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." But then what does it mean to really live? Today I believe that to really live means that to enter into relationship with my Creator in such a way that I become happy, joyous and free and that I am ruled by love, love for God and love for others. The result is my actions and life no longer being about only myself but instead what I have overflowing positively into the lives of others and my course of action being determined by how what I think and do will effect others.

The truth is that even my relationship with God is not just about me. Some would say: It's a personal thing, and my relationship between me and God is just that, between me and God. It's nobody's business but mine, because it only effects me.

I think that philosophy totally misses the mark and makes me question the relationship. God, as I understand Him, blessed me through the the service of others, and He wants me to serve others in return. He set up the spiritual paradox of to get you have to give away, to be free you have to surrender to another, to have life you must be willing to lay your life down and that no greater love can be shown than to lay down your life for another. These are not the spiritual principles of a God who is ok with me being selfish and our relationship only being about me. My relationship with God must go beyond me so that it can reach and positively effect other people's lives or it has no value.

If all I have done is save myself then what's the point? I have found the path through the fire to safety, but if I run down the path and do not care who else is saved then I am also partly responsible for those who die in the fire behind me. Now, if I say, "Hey, follow me! I know the way out!" and they say no, I got this. I'm going to do it myself, then I'm going on down the path. I am going to make sure that my butt is safe, my sobriety is stable, my relationship with God is right. But that is just it; if I don't care about the men, women and children who still suffer because I am too busy enjoying that I don't suffer anymore, then my relationship with God is not right. It won't be long before I am suffering again too. Self obsession and self centeredness has always led to suffering in my life.

Today I want to really live and use my will the way it was intended to be used by choosing to surrender that very will to the will of God. It there, safely tucked away in my Creator's Good Orderly Direction that I find freedom, and everything being the best it can be, and the ability to be of service to Him and my fellow man. Being a servant is more of a life than I ever found while living for myself. Strange, I know, but true.