Walking On Water

Years ago, a cold swept through East Texas in a way that I have never seen before or since. What is a normal occurrence for my friends in the North became a time of wonder for me. Everything froze. I went duck hunting with my father, and we carried the canoe and gear across the lake.

That it is not the way things were supposed to be. We were supposed to be in the boat rowing, not carrying everything. I didn't trust it. I felt so afraid the ice would break. The morning cold cut through me, my breath fogged the view, and we carried what had been designed to carry us. And the ice did not break.

My father was right. We probably could have driven the truck across. When we made it to the right location, we had to cut holes in the ice with an ax to make a place for the decoys. My father told me to be careful, but now I felt more comfortable. I became careless and took more and more risks with where I was standing in relation to the damage the ax had done to the ice. Dad finally told me to stop. In typical fashion for me, I had to get that one more swing, that slight act of rebellion and control had to be mine. I struck the ice with the ax and heard, felt and finally saw the crack start slowly then the ice opened up between myself and shore before I could react. I made a run for it, but the freezing water soaked me as I plowed through the broken ice trying to get out of the water as quickly as possible. I felt so miserable, and the fire my father built to warm and dry me did little to lift my spirits.

But when the evening came and it was time to return, I did not feel afraid as I carried my end of the canoe back across the ice. I understood that the ice held me before and would do so again. My earlier mishap had been a result of my actions and as long as I did not give cause for the ice to break, it would not.

Sometimes I wonder why I did not learn that lesson then, why I took so long to understand that what I realized in relation to the ice also was true in other areas. I am going to encounter situations and times that are different than anything I have ever known. Like frozen lakes I might have seen pictures or movies or known people who had experienced whatever it is, but the situation is new for me. These times are great and memorable and inspiring and frightening. When I find myself in that new and unique situation feeling frightened and unsure of myself, my first instinct needs to be to look to my Father for guidance.

As I step out with unsure footing I need to remember that I can trust my father, that He's right there with me helping to carry the load and lead the way. He tests the ice for me.

When I stop scaring myself and start trusting the ice I need to be just as quick to listen to my Father's instructions. These are the times when I get cocky and start trying to do things my own way. The resulting cold and misery leaves much to be desired, and I could avoid so much of it, if I would only listen.

But if I don't, and I fall through the ice, my Father is there to help me get to shore, build a fire, make me warm and dry. He is always there and ready to care for me and restore me, if I will let Him.

When the time comes to step back out onto the ice, I can do so with the confidence that I am following my Father and am safe.

As I walk further and further out on the road of recovery, as I learn to be husband and man that God wants me to be, as I tread the waters of financial insecurity of starting my own business, and as I encounter other new experiences I sometimes feel like I'm walking on ice. I often fear the ice is thin and dangerous. It's so easy to fall prey to fear. But I am walking the path my Father tested for me and leads the way along. I can trust. And when I can't, I know that if I just keep walking I will eventually reach my destination, and I will realize that somewhere along the way I stopped being afraid. There comes a point when you realize the ice is as thick as those who said trust said it was, because it hasn't cracked open, because it won't before I get where I'm going. Warm weather and foolishness will both provide access to the chilling water, but the first is far off, and the second is preventable. The next right thing, trust and following God, one step at a time...these are the keys to survival for me when I'm walking on water.