Forgive Us As We Forgive

I really felt the need to continue my study of the Sermon On The Mount, especially since I am in the middle of the Lord's Prayer and an area that I have been needing to look at within myself lately, the subject of forgiveness, I have read that this clause, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us," is the turning point of the prayer. I agree.

We have acknowledged who God is in the scheme of things and in our lives. We have acknowledged where our supply, the answer to our every need is found. And now Jesus moves to the next critical point of our spiritual relationship with the Father, forgiveness.

Sin describes a broken relationship. a breach of trust, the result of a selfish value system. To pretend that we have no areas that fall into this area is the height of denial and the very definition of pride and self-delusion, But it is easy to fall into that fantasy world where I can see everyone around's me sin but somehow become blind and oblivious to my own, at least until the consequences of living selfishly and separating myself from communion with my Creator catch up with me.

In order to make the request found in the Lord's prayer we have to first acknowledge our need to be forgiven. I don't need a one time wiping clean of the slate but a continual washing. As I walk in relationship with God, turning my will and life over to Him, and practicing the spiritual principles I have learned in every area of my life, selfishness and sin loosens its hold over me. But there is still sin, areas of selfishness and character defects that have power in my life and need to be taken seriously.

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word has no place in our lives. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But is anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." I John 1:8-2:2

If I look at myself with rigorous honesty I must face this problem. I have to see the areas where I have lived as though there is no God, or if there is a God that He has no control or part in that area of my life. Where have I acted as though I am in control of my own will and life? Where have I attempted to gain what I want or to meet my own needs with my own power and without regarding God's will for my life or how my actions will effect others? Where have I been selfish and self-centered?

In parables Jesus made it clear that we can not be one who is forgiven so much and yet refuses to give mercy and forgive those who owe us. I have heard in the rooms to remember that as we pray the word "as" is like an equals sign. We are praying to God and asking Him to forgive us in the same way and manner that we forgive others. If we are to acknowledge God's love for us and ask Him to forgive us where we have missed the mark and fallen short of the goal, we must extend this grace and forgiveness to everyone who may have injured us in any way regardless of intent, regardless of whether they did something or failed to do something.

Jesus didn't teach us to say forgive me and I will try to forgive them, I will at some point forgive, I will pretend to forgive. He taught us to pray forgive me as I  forgive them. I can not request or demand my release for guilt while holding onto my right to hold another accountable for his or her guilt. I have to rid myself of all resentment and condemnation of others and of myself. If God has forgiven me, what right do I have to continue to flog and punish myself for the past?

Forgiveness is not just something for me to receive. It must also be offered. Going back to the equals idea of the clauses, this is not just something that I've heard in the rooms of recovery, it is there in the word. Even so, there is no way that we can earn forgiveness by anything we do, not even by forgiving others. We can not earn forgiveness credits by forgiving any number of others, great, small or total. Forgiveness is by God's grace through Christ, not by any merit we have. But unforgiveness can block God's blessing in our lives.
There are actually two Greek words used here. "Forgive us our sins" uses the common Greek noun hamartia, "sin, miss the mark." In the next phrase, "for we also forgive everyone who sins against us" the word "sin" translates the Greek verb opheilo, "owe, be indebted." We've all met people who feel that everyone "owes" them something; those who hold a grudge are something like that. I know that I am guilty of having lived with that attitude, and I highly suspect that all of us who have found ourselves enslaved by drugs and alcohol have felt this way. They nurse a hurt, a slight, a sin until it separates them from the person, and from God Himself.

I have seen many people who wonder why they aren't experiencing God's fullness. I have been one of those people. At the bottom of this is a root of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness toward someone who has hurt them deeply. The key to freedom is forgiveness. Setting others free means setting myself free. Holding resentment against someone shins me to that person. It gives them power and control  over areas of my life, and limits me. I am no longer free when I am unable to forgive. Why would I want to attach myself for life to the people who have done me the most harm? Why would I let them have power over how I feel and act? Instead of belonging to God, instead of turning my will and my life over to the God who loves and cares about me, I have now given part of my life, if not all of it, and my will, how I will act and react and feel, over to the care of people who have already proven themselves at the least unable to properly care for me at all times and at worst are actively trying to hurt me. It's like hiring a bodyguard that I know it is either incompetent or has been paid way more to see me dead.

But how do I do it? How do I forgive the unforgivable? The pain and hurt and injustice that has shredded and nearly killed me and in which I have used the anger I have over it to fuel my very being for years...how do I let that go? The key is willingness. I don't have to at first figure out how to break the glue that binds resentment to my heart, but I only have to be willing to have that glue broken. Willingness to forgive is actually the biggest part of what we have to do.

We can pray and declare to God that we fully and completely forgive the person who has harmed us. We declare the matter released and let go. The case against this person is closed forever, just as the case against me is closed because of the grace of God. We cast the burden of resentment upon Christ to carry it or let if go as He wills, but we will no longer carry it ourselves. We declare the person free of the debt to us and us free of the bondage of holding their debt against them. Then thank God for forgiveness and freedom and move on.

When the person or incident comes to mind and brings pain or anger once more, we simply remind ourselves that they are forgiven by us and by God as we are. This is a closed case, and there is no need to reopen or reexamine it. Then we pray a prayer of blessing on the person. Pray everything for them that we want for ourselves. We show love. Wash, rinse repeat as necessary. How long will this take? Who knows. It varies. But if we do it faithfully, the resentment, the feeling again of hurt and anger, the unforgiveness trying to rise from the dead will occur less and less until the matter is gone from our heart and mind forever. The freedom and peace that will come to take the place of resentment is well worth the price of releasing our right to be mad.