I know I wrote on the first two words of this in my last entry, but I have come to realize that I can not remind myself too much or too often that God is my adopted Father. It also is good for me to remind myself of God's place in my life. My Father, my Lord, I turn my will and life over to You this day and every day, and as long as I remember that He is the Father and I am the child, He is the Master, and I am His servant, then it's easier to stop and check myself when the idea pops into my mind that I can be in control of my life and or follow my own will.
When I remember that God reigns in Heaven I am reminded once again that He is on the throne of everything, including my life and my will. I also come to the understanding that just as Heaven and earth are not the same, God's ways and will are not my like mine. This is important for me to keep in mind before I react to anything, because I am not yet instinctive with the ways of God. His nature has not become second nature to me, not in all areas at all times anyway. All too often, my first thought, impulse or reaction comes from self and is not the will of God for me or anyone involved. But if I stop before I react, ask for guidance, and then, when the direction comes, follow it, things have a way of working for the good in my life. This isn't always easy. Sometimes I want to say. "You want me to do what? Are You crazy God?"
It may sound sacrilegious and horrible to say such things out loud, but I do not have a religion with God. I have a relationship with my Father. He already knows His ways seem foreign to me. He understands it often feels unnatural and frightening for me to do His will over my own. I might as well admit it to myself and Him. But it doesn't matter if I find doing God's will frighting or unnatural, as long as I trust that He knows the better way and wants the best for me, I can set my fears and self aside and follow His direction. When I am able to do this, I find heaven in my life. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is within me, and when I walk according to God's plan, this is evident in my life.
And for giving me His presence, for making heaven exist in me and my life and freeing me from what was a hell on earth existence, for taking over the job of running my life after old management drove it to bankruptcy, I give Him my gratitude and praise. Hallowed be His name. He is holy. God is complete and whole and righteous, and yet loves me despite the fact that I am none of those things. When I praise Him, I remind myself that whatever righteousness appears to exist in my life is only because of Him. By allowing Him to reign in my life, I invite Him into my life and this brings transformation. My earthly self begins to take on more and more heavenly characteristics as I allow God more and more control over every aspect of my being.
These simple ideas from the first part of The Lord's Prayer are the reason that as I do yet another inventory of my life I can see positive progress and not just a mess. I can look at myself without having to seek escape or the false serenity of oblivion. Although I still find myself afraid and angry from time to time, I know that God is not. His way can become my way, His reality can be my reality, His heaven can be my home now not only after death. He is able to complete the work that He has begun because He has no faults, no character defects, no shortcomings that would prevent His success in anything.
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