Blessed Are They That Mourn?

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.

When I was younger I found this statement odd. After all, God is all-powerful and could prevent so much pain and suffering and misery if only He would. I would much rather not have heartache than receive comfort.But this attitude was childish. I never realized that until I found myself on the Road to Recovery pursuing a relationship with my Creator.

It's easy to say that I should be blessed, because I have mourned plenty. I have buried over 50 friends and family members in the last 30 years. That's an average of more than one for each of my forty years on this planet. I have suffered many loses that did not involve physical death as well. But I won't rehash it all here, because to mourn does not necessarily mean to feel sorry for ones self or to complain because of loss. I do not believe, and I feel the Scriptures back me up on this, that God is a fan of griping and complaining. Rejoice in the Lord, always, and again I say rejoice. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God. I could go on.

So how can it be that the mournful are to be blessed if the will of God is for us to be thankful and rejoice in all things? Well, I can't speak for everyone. All I can do is share my experience, strength and hope. But there is a reason why it is often said in the rooms that pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth. It is so easy for me to get caught up in the day to day of this life and to be comfortable. In my past I have often let me relationship with God dwindle when I felt comfortable and satisfied with my existence. But during times of loss and heartache, times when it is natural to mourn, I realize that something is missing in my life.

For years I tried to fill the hole in my life and soul with alcohol, drugs, excitement, sex, etc. Anything I could think of to change the way I felt or distract me from the simple fact that I didn't like myself very much and hated the emptiness that seemed to ever grow within me. When the pain, frustration and confusion became great enough and the chemicals and other distractions not only ceased to provide escape but also made things worse, I was forced to look for something else to make life worth living. I found what I was looking for in a personal connection and relationship with my Creator. And in the process of getting to know my God, I found peace and comfort.

The vast majority of the things I have mourned in my 40 years have been a direct result of my own actions, choices and reactions. I brought so much of the pain that I have experienced on myself. I always knew this to be true to an extent, but when I worked my fourth and fifth steps I got a much clearer picture and understanding of this basic principle. My reactions to the people and situations in my life coupled with the desire to live my own way under the lordship of my own will filled my life with pain, disaster and loss.

It is those who are sick who seek healing. It is those who are hurting who hunt for relief. It is those who experience loss who search for something to fill the emptiness within. It is those who mourn who seek comfort. There is a reason why the Holy Spirit is also called the Comforter. The comfort and peace that I searched for for so many years and that I have today comes from relationship with God. It is found in contact with the Spirit of Comfort within me through grace. If I was never unsatisfied with my life, I would have had no reason to pursue relationship with God. But I firmly believe that it is only in such a relationship that life can truly be satisfying, joyful and worth living.

Today I am grateful for the pain and loss I have experienced, because it has driven me to the wilderness where my survival could only be found in relationship with God. I found the comfort I didn't realize I needed before loss ate my life. Because of mourning I sought God. Because I sought God, I found Him. In finding connection with my Creator I found comfort. Today I can say that He has turned my mourning into dancing. Today I have something that can not be taken away from me by the loss of anything in this realm. I have something eternal and spiritual which can fill and meet every need in my life. There is such a comfort in that.

Maybe there is someone out there who never felt loss of any kind and still sought a relationship with God. But that is not my experience. I have been richly and abundantly blessed and comforted because my pain and loss drove me to find something that could not be killed, lost or stolen. I am grateful for my times of mourning because through them I found what has truly blessed my life.