More From The Sermon On The Mount

You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16

There is a moment when driving to the DFW area after dark that I love. At some point between Terrel and Dallas on I-20 one can see the lights of the Dallas area twinkle across the horizon. It says to me that I'm almost there. The destination where I want to be is close.

And salt is a wonderful thing. A little bit can enhance and bring out all the flavors of a dish. Without any salt it is virtually impossible to prepare any meal that is not bland. But too much salt added to a dish will ruin it as much if not worse than no salt at all. It is important to be able to taste something other than the salt, because salt is not a flavor (despite the way some people I know use it), it is a flavor enhancer.

Finally, what first came to mind when I read the part about the lamp stand this morning is that a lamp stand is stationary. The candle giving light to the entire house is simply sitting there burning. It's not being pushed in any corners or shoved in anyone's face.

In the rooms I have learned how to apply the spiritual principles of recovery, first to drink and drug, and then to all areas of my life. In order to remain in a state of recovery I must practice these principles in all my affairs. These spiritual principles are learned and developed through working the twelve steps of recovery, not once but continuously. By doing the work, I discover a connection with God and develop a relationship that maintains are strengthens that connection. By turning my life and will over to His care, seeing the truth of my part in my life, allowing God to change those things which hinder my relationship with Him and my ability to be of service to others, cleaning up my part of the wreckage of the past, and communicating with my Creator through prayer and meditation so that I am given the grace to do His will for me throughout the day the man I used to be is changed and slowly fades away. He still pops up from time to time, but I recognize him faster and don't slip back under the spell and power of self quite as often or as deeply as before. When I am walking in the power of the principles I listed a couple of sentences ago I do not have to worry about the desire to drink and drug, because it doesn't exist. Like a shadow that disappears when the lighting is changed, the light of God pouring into my life destroys the power of the darkness that once ruled me, even down to the shadows that haunt my memories. But more importantly, the more able I am to practice these things in every area of my life, the less of me and the more of Him who performed the miracle changes in my life people are able to see.

I'm still not even close to perfect. I do not manage often to get so close to the Perfect Light that the shadows of who I once was are completely gone. I do not walk in the truth of surrender to God as much as I would like. I have a tendency to take back parts of me that I have turned over to God. I sometimes become afraid and react out of that fear in a way that is not God and does not show Him in my actions. But that's why it's called practicing these principles. It's not something that I will ever do perfectly while on the planet in this plane of existence. But the more I work at it, the more quickly I accept the correction of the Spirit when I do fall short and the more I get out of the way, let go and let God, the more His love, His power and His way of life shine through me.

I have gone from someone who did a good job of serving as a bad example to someone who has the potential to add flavor to the lives of others and be a light in the darkness of hopelessness and despair. But I have to remember that it is not me or because of anything I have done. I am to be the candle, the flame has to come from God.

If I forget that I can begin pushing myself and what I think I know onto others. I cease to become salt that enhances the flavors of life that God created and instead become salt that destroys all ability to taste anything else and demands a drink to clear the pallet.

The candle on the lamp stand does not light itself. Someone touched a flame to the wick and light from another source becomes its light. Any light which may seem to come from my life today was not created by me. It comes from another source. But as long as I allow the heat from that fire to melt away the wax of my own will and self then more wick is exposed to burn and provide light. When I get out of the way and allow the nature and love of God to flow through me, then my presence can become something that enhances the flavor of life for others and gives glory to the One who made the flavors. And like a city whose lights can not be hidden from the weary traveler does not get up and move to those on the road but rather draws them in to itself, I must remember attraction rather than promotion. Jesus never shoved His truth down anyone's throat. He lived love in such a way that people came to Him and asked Him questions, which He then answered. Any truth I have is not my own, but that of God in me. I am to show that truth like the stationary city lights and the candle on the stand that serve others and draw them in but in love not force, because the truth expressed by the actions of love add the perfect amount of spiritual salt to season whatever it comes in contact with, but that same love expressed through self-righteousness and pride chokes out all the flavors it was meant to enhance and demands the recipient drink.

Today I pray to be the candle that allows God to burn through me in such a way that gives light and doesn't burn out of control to damage the lives of those I would help and to keep my motives right and my self out of the mix so that my presence can enhance the flavor of God in life rather than choke those around me. Most of all, I pray that the light of the One who changed me and gave me power over alcohol and drugs shines so brightly through my life that while the structure of who I am can not be seen, the light in the structure can be seen for miles like the Dallas skyline, drawing the weary, the desperate and the hopeless to the light that refreshes and saves.

Blessed Are They Which Are Persecuted

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad, for great is your reward in the heavens.

There are many different views and opinions on exactly what Jesus was saying during the closing three verses of the Beatitudes and what these scriptures mean. I have read and studied the Bible in many translations and also studied commentaries and religious philosophies. But I am not a Bible scholar nor a candidate for a doctorate in religion. I don't want to argue semantics or fight over interpretation. I believe that I understand these verses, but more importantly I trust that as I continue to have relationship with my Creator and grow closer to Him that He will bring to my attention and correct any misunderstanding of these verses or any other parts of His word, as long as I listen and remain teachable the Great Teacher will teach. All I can do is here is the same as I have done with the other parts of the Beatitudes that do not have as much differing opinion, which is to simply offer my experience, strength and hope.

There is so much differing opinion about meaning here, because this doesn't sound fun. The other parts were all about being blessed. Blessing is good. I'll have extra of that thank you, but please hold the onions....I mean persecution. I don't want to be uncomfortable, hurt, despised or rejected. I mean seriously, I want to be like Jesus and all, but beaten down, despised and rejected? Let's not go overboard here. I came to Jesus because I felt beaten down, despised, rejected, unloved and unlovable, unaccepted and unacceptable. I drank a lot of alcohol and did a lot of drugs to escape feeling like that. When that quit working and the consequences of my choices and actions caused me to feel all those things even more then I realized I needed to surrender my life and my will over to the care of God. But I surely didn't do it to feel more of the same old same old hurt and rejection.

But it's not the same old same old and can't be if I'm doing what my program of recovery and relationship with my Master Teacher have instructed me to do. The term "persecute" is from a root which means "to put to flight, drive away." The word is defined as "...in any way whatever to harass, trouble, molest one." This includes all that can be done to hurt one outwardly. To "revile" someone is to insult them and call them by contemptuous names. So after looking these words up and getting a little better understanding of what they mean so I don't have to jump right to the idea or concept of martyrdom when I see or hear the word persecute, I need to look further before I start thinking that I qualify here. I used the word qualify because Jesus did not say blessed are they which are persecuted and reviled. He added qualifying words, "for righteousness' sake" and "for my sake," for a reason.

It is not a blessing to be persecuted as a reaction to living selfishly or in the authority of my own will. That is either justice or a result of placing myself in a situation where I am vulnerable to those who are also not living in submission and surrender to God. Let me use for example my time in prison. My sentence was somewhat extreme and harsh considering the circumstances according to the opinions of those involved and most of those who know the details. But the truth is that I broke the law, I accepted responsibility and plead guilty, and my sentence fell well within the boundaries and guidelines for the degree of felony offense. The truth of the matter is that I didn't receive even half of the maximum sentence. I certainly wasn't persecuted. I experienced justice in the eyes and standards of the state.

But while I was incarcerated, I experienced some persecution. We were dehumanized, belittled, put down and abused by those in authority over us on a daily basis. Then there was plenty of behavior from other convicts that qualifies under the definition of persecution. I experienced ,many things over those seven and a half years that I did not deserve based on the crime that put me in that place. But it still doesn't qualify me, because I wasn't being persecuted or reviled for righteousness' sake or Christ's. I was being persecuted because I put myself in the hands of evil men as a direct result of living a life that was centered only on myself and out of control.

So these verses are not talking about being persecuted as a result of living for myself or being called names for being what I am or for doing what I did. They are also not about being persecuted or called names because of religious beliefs. I don't believe that to have someone treat me negatively or say something to hurt my feelings because they don't like the cross tattoo I have qualifies either, although some would say it does. I personally believe that it goes deeper.

When I first got clean and sober, I lost some friends. Many of them simply didn't want me around anymore or want to be around me. It interfered with their pleasure to be around someone not using or drinking, especially when that someone used to use and drink. I was a buzz kill to them, and some were not nice about how they told me to stay away. I made them uncomfortable, because deep down they knew the truth about themselves, that they was powerless and that their lives were unmanageable. They couldn't accept or face that truth yet, and my presence made that truth gnaw at them a little. They couldn't stand it.

People are selfish. People do not live or act in love or service to others for the most part. People take advantage of others to advance themselves or get what they want, and when they've been hurt they retaliate. True patience, love, tolerance and forgiveness is something that most people do not or can not practice without a relationship with God.

I remember when I first started my recovery and learned how I was to act in service being afraid. I was afraid that if I lived this way that I would be taken advantage of, that I would be hurt. No, I was going to protect myself and what was mine. But Jesus said turn the other cheek and give your cloak also. He understood that I can't pick and choose when to be selfish and when to love. I have to walk in love to the best of my ability at every moment and circumstance. That is the will of my Heavenly Father who loved me even when I acted unlovable. If I walk in love, I never have to worry about what is the next right thing or what is or isn't the will of God. To walk in love fulfills everything.

It also makes the people who are not walking in love, and who have been broken and hurt and need and want love so much, very uncomfortable. Some will feel that discomfort as a sign that they too want what we have, conscious contact with our Creator and freedom from the bondage of self. Some will feel that and react out of fear to drive the love away. If it isn't there, I can't let my guard down and let it in. If I don't do that, it can't hurt me. So they persecute and revile in an attempt to not be hurt, they extend their pain and misery by hurting those who would love them and help them find the solution to their confusion and pain. Some of those who persecute those who walk in love also try to take advantage in financial, emotional, and other ways.

It is when by walking in, acting out of, having my decisions governed by love and doing the next right thing according to what God would have me do and thereby provoke the above responses that I qualify for the blessings that come from persecution. Mother Theresa understood this, and I feel her final analysis prayer sums up the spirit of these verses nicely. "People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

Who I Want To Be.....A Peacemaker.

Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God.

Some might say I have an unfair advantage in the spirituality department. Some might say that as a child in the church was unfortunate. I simply express both ideas with the statement that I am a PK. For those who may not know, a PK is an acronym for preacher's kid. My father is a minister, and there are indeed many blessings that can come from having a pastor for a father, and quite a few pressures and frustrations as well. But I consider myself blessed to have had a father who preached grace and not law, whose focus of ministry has always been on relationship with God rather than religion, and, most importantly, who lived at home what he preached from the pulpit.

Unfortunately for me, my way of reacting to pain, loneliness and confusion had a lot more to do with isolating and trying to figure things out and or make things better myself than it did with talking (or more importantly listening) to my father or running to God when I was scared. Once resentment against the church grew to resentment against God and the seeds of true rebellion were sown, I was lost. I cut God out of my life as much as possible because of pain and resentment and created a God-shaped hole that I then needed to fill or die. Since I could not, or would surrender to God so that He could and would fill the hole, I tried to fill it with momentary distractions and chemicals. It worked for a while, and then it stopped working. Then it created moments of mass destruction in my life and the lives of others. I lived a life fueled by anger and fear. I most certainly was not a peacemaker.

Of course, since I never saw anything in my father's life that didn't line up with what he preached, I couldn't call him a hypocrite or write of his relationship with God as positive thinking, fairy tale bullshit. I wanted to, because I couldn't seem to find and keep what he had, relationship with God. But I couldn't. I never doubted that God was real and that my father's relationship with Him was also very real. Instead of doubting that, I came to believe that the was a power higher than myself who hated me. Since I saw my father as working for God, and I couldn't go to God (He hated me after all), I lost, no, threw away the help and support that I could have had from my father. My father loved me dearly and wanted to help me. He tried many times in fact. One of the first revelations that I got in the rooms of recovery was that the truth and wisdom I heard there were the same things my father had been saying to me all my life, but I couldn't hear it. It didn't take long before the confussion and addictions and isolation led me to take the natural leap that is God hated me my father must as well.

It was foolishness. Neither my father not God ever waivered in their love for me. I share the above to show that my father had and has a relationship with God and that I know it was my reactions and rebellion that prevented me from benefiting from his teaching. It was never his fault. And there were times that I did benefit.

One early morning my father and I went deer hunting together. We got up about the time I normally went to bed, bundled up and drove to the woods. Upon our arrival I realized that I had forgotten my rifle. How amazingly stupid. I immediately began beating myself up. I felt dumb. I felt angry and frustrated. I felt like I failed my father and let him down once again. I felt....let's face it, I felt sorry for myself. I felt like that a lot.

We got back in the truck and drove home to pick up my rifle. On the way, I was ranting and venting my frustrations with myself and the situation. I knew this would cause us to be walking to our stands too late in the day for success. My father didn't say anything. He put on some praise and worship music and started singing along. I could tell that he was truly trying to praise and worship God with the music while I ranted on. The fire began to die down within me. I couldn't interfere with his communion with God by throwing a temper tantrum while he was essentially praying. I stopped talking. The music played, he sang, and I somehow found myself calming down. Something changed that had nothing to do with the situation. I began to feel peace. It was ok. I can't describe the overwhelming sensation I felt when I realized I hadn't ruined everything by forgetting my rifle, because my father didn't want to go hunting as much as he had just wanted to spend some time with his oldest son. My reaction to forgetting the rifle came closer to ruining the experience than forgetting it did, because my anger cut me off from my father and anything else. I was lost inside me again. When I allowed my father's reaction of praise to interfere with my self pity, I was drawn into his reaction and drawn out of myself. There I found peace instead of frustration. I realized what the trip was about.

We got the gun and returned to the woods. Neither of us saw any deer that day, but it turned out to be one of the best deer hunting days with my father that I ever had because it was about that time with him rather than trying to impress him or measure up to my ideas of his expectations for me.

That is one memory of my father being a true peacemaker. But there are many. Talk to anyone who knows my father, and they will talk about how calming he is when they describe him. Part of the reason that he is such a good counselor is because he is a peacemaker. And as I stated at the beginning because I saw this daily, I could never doubt that my father had a relationship with God, and because of that I could never doubt that God was real.

When I came to the rooms of recovery and heard the message that it was all about relationship with God, in many ways it was like coming home. I learned to listen to my father. I learned over the years of my adulthood, in little stages, that God loves me. If I follow my father's footsteps and example in anything I would have it be this: I want to have such a real and deep relationship with my creator that I live each day in such serenity that I become a calming influence in the hearts, minds and souls of others just by being around. That just as much as my walking into a room used to mean that party was really about to kick off, my entrance would become a sign that there would be peace. I hope that someday I live a life of such serenity that it overflows my personal banks and washes over those around me, so that when they see me they see my Creator, not because I look this way or that or do some things and not others but like with my father they see and and since the peace of God that passes all understanding so strongly that they have no doubt he is a child of the Creator.

I have seen in so often in the life of my father and a few others. I have seen it from time to time in my life. I have seen it in the rooms. Blessed are the serenity spreaders for their life shall bear witness to those they encounter of God's power, God's love and God's way of life so much that when people spend time with them they know they are spending time with a child of God and that they too can be that. The peacemakers are the ones in the rooms whose presence and words made me want what they had and do what they had done. That is who I want to be.

I Want To See God Today - Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart

Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God.

This appeals to me, because I love the idea of being able to see God. It also bothers me, because it's difficult for me to read this scripture without slipping into legalism and beating myself up. I've never been anywhere close to pure of heart if purity is a synonym for perfection, which when reading this, my mind usually equates the two. In the past, I have always read or heard this and immediately reminded myself of all the times and all the ways I have fallen short of perfection and holiness. If I am not careful, I have been known to start looking at religious rules and regulations and say I need to start doing this right and that right and stop the other so that I can be closer to pure and perhaps close enough to see God.

But the truth is that as natural as that thought process is, it is ridiculous. The first reason it is ridiculous is that it is a trap, and I am setting myself up for failure. To slip into that mindset is to look to and within myself to be perfect and holy as God is perfect and holy. That's impossible. I can never do anything right enough to earn closeness with God. That truth is the very reason Christ came, to make a way through grace for me to have relationship with God based on His merit, because mine will always be insufficient. The second reason the idea is ridiculous is that Jesus did not mean pure as in perfectly following the rules and unflawed.

We all have character defects. We all have flaws. We all have areas where our own will and natural instincts run contrary to the will of God for us. And we all have things about ourselves that fall in those categories that we can not control or change on our own, no matter how hard we try, at least not for long. I think we addicts and alcoholics are much aware of this. If this were not true, then all those statements of I'll do better, this will never happen again, I won't use or drink as much next time, I'm never getting drunk or high again would have been true. We would have seen destruction in our lives and corrected it the first time there was a negative consequence. But I couldn't stop or control those things because I lacked the power over them and over myself. I needed God.

Jesus knows that, so He is not going to tell me to be something I am not and can not be. But if that is the case, then what did He mean by pure? Quite simply, purity of motive, purity of purpose and purity of worship. Not pure as in perfect but rather as in unadulterated by anything else.

The Beatitudes are in the book of Matthew. In another place in Matthew Jesus criticizes the Pharisees for the ritualistic purity, pointing out the futility of washing and cleaning the outside of a cup while the inside is untouched and nasty. He knocks the fear motivated following of rules the religious followed about what they could do and not do, eat and not eat, by pointing out that it's not what a man eats or puts in his mouth that defiles him or makes him impure. It is what comes out of the mouth that defiles, because what comes out of the mouth comes from within us, from the heart, and if the heart is not pure, what comes is impure.

A pure heart is an honest heart. A heart that has no deceit to present to God, to self or to others is pure. This is the basic truth behind practicing rigorous honesty. If I am honest with myself and others, especially God, then I will be teachable, leadable and humble. I will do the next right thing for the right reasons. My motives for surrendering to God and for service to others will be about love not self promotion or they will be changed.

A pure heart has but one purpose, to have relationship with God and to do His will. To truly follow the principles of Step Three, including motivations for service and where the glory and praise gets directed, leads to purity of heart and spirit.

And a pure heart is one that worships and surrenders to God and no other. When I am pursuing a relationship with God in honesty, living in service and submission to His will above all else and for His glory, and when that relationship and His will come first before any other then I am pure of heart and I will be blessed to see God.

But what exactly does that mean, to see God. Well, it is true that the heavens and the earth declare the glory of God. We can and do see glimpses of the Creator in the creation. When I walk in rigorous honesty, surrender to God and practice what He's taught me in all the affairs of my life I do have a tendency to notice the Creator in the creation around me more often. I see and am grateful for the blessings He gives me more. But that's still not it. To see God is to be granted audience, to be allowed into His presence for discourse and fellowship. It is to see in the sense of I need to see the King, I need to see my father. When I say I need to see my father, I don't mean I need to see a glimpse of him from my window as he walks by. I need for everything else to be put on hold, for me to be allowed to sit down with him and talk. To see God is to be taken into and aware of the presence of God.

So today, I will try to remember and walk in this truth. I will fall short in some, maybe many areas, but I will rely on God's grace for those. I will do my best to be honest enough with myself and God to see my motives for what I do. I will be teachable and be willing that God have all of me, the good and the bad, and take from me every defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to Him and others [Step Seven], and I will surrender my will and my life to His, and not my fear, responsibilities or pride, nothing else will come first before my relationship with Him. The extent that I am able to practice this purity of heart is the extent to which I will be able to experience and practice the presence of God in my life, to see God, today.

There IS A Solution

Yesterday, I celebrated 20 months clean and sober. That is the longest I have been both since I was 13 and a miracle I thank God for. My wonderful wife, Leah, and I enjoyed the day together, had a lovely meal at a nice restaruant and made a meeting. The idea for the video I am posting came to me out of a desire to share the message that there is a solution. I let it germinate in my mind overnight and put it together this morning. The words of this song are powerful, true and sad. But there is hope for recovery. My life proves it.

If you have trouble reading the words on the image, please try going to full screen by clciking the button on the lower right on the video player.

Blessed Are The Merciful

Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy.
Matthew 5:7

The first three of the Beatitudes describes a person who becomes broken before God and empty of self. The poor in spirit who see and understand that they need God's provision, those who grieve and mourn because they lost something important trying to play God in their own lives, the meek who come to understand their right value in God and lack of value without Him. This is followed by the sincere and desperate craving for relationship and right-standing with God in verse 6. Now we see the descriptions of that right-standing and relationship, or righteousness, exists and manifests in the heart, mind and soul of the person who has been broken of self and hungry for God. The first of these descriptions is mercy.

Mercy comes from the heart that has full understanding of its own defects and value without God, has let regret lead to repentance and forgiveness from God and self for self and for others, has surrendered to the direction and authority of God and has come to understand that a life worth living is found in having mercy from God and has a desire for everyone to experience that same mercy. Our mercy towards others is born out of understanding God's mercy for us.

When I became broken, or as some say, hit rock bottom, I could no longer deceive myself into believing that I could control and manage my own life. I knew that I needed to completely surrender my will and my life to God. But on the way to that point I had done so much damage that I could never be worthy of any relationship, much less relationship with my Creator. Instead of judgement, I discovered a loving and merciful God reaching out to me and saying I will forgive you and help you change into someone that you no longer hate and wish to destroy and all I ask in return is to have relationship with you. That is mercy. And I am grateful for it. I owe everything I am and everything I will be to a merciful God who showed love rather than judgement. Understanding that allows me to respond to others the way God has responded to me, with love and mercy rather than judgement.

In another place, Jesus said "I desire mercy and not sacrifice." God wants relationship with people living a life of love toward Him and others. He is not looking for religious righteousness and some ability to ritually do the right thing at the right time in the right manner, but a heart desiring closeness to Him to seek after rightness in spirit not law. The formal way of righteousness, sacrifice, led to death. But accepting mercy and love and then giving those away gives life.

Now I no longer have to measure up to some standard. I can rely on God to fill in the gaps where I fall short. I don't have to remember over 600 little nitpicky laws that I can't keep, only one. All I have to do is love. I can't keep that one either, but God within me will give me His love to share so that I don't have to rely on my own ability to show love. When I see how little my own anything has to do with why I have God's love, then I can not help but to realize that no one else should have to deserve His love either. I no longer sit in self-righteous and religious judgement over others but can show mercy, understanding that they have been given the same grace as I, whether they have discovered that or not. And the more I walk in that principle of being merciful rather than judging others, the more I see the mercy of God in my own life.

Blessed Are Those Who Fiend?

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Today I continue the journey through the Beatitudes with the fourth statement from Jesus that those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be filled. When Jesus said these words, He was speaking to people in metaphor. He used the words hunger and thirst because He was talking to people who understand the feelings of the early stages and the threat of starvation and lived close enough to the desert to truly understand what it means to thirst.

Now in my experience, I don't truly understand these things. I have gone without solid food for 40 days, but there was food all around me. At any point I could have eaten, and I knew it. I was not in any danger of starvation. I have been hungry when I haven't eaten in a while, but honestly it's a mild discomfort and these days I don't go a day without eating without a good reason to do so. Never in my life have I been in danger of dying from lack of water. So in the core of who I am, I don't understand the neediness in the statement hunger and thirst for righteousness.

But I do understand the verse a different way. I am an alcoholic and an addict. And in order to understand the driven desire and need for righteousness that Jesus spoke of, I simply need to remember where I've been. I know what it feels like to need a fix so badly that I feared I would die if I did not find one. I remember what it feels like to have my body convulse and shake because I needed a drink and the sure knowledge that I would die without a drink and just as afraid that if I drank it would kill me. When I wasn't drinking or drugging before I found recovery my entire thought process and all my energy was consumed with the need for them. I was thinking about what it would feel like to get drunk or high again. I was scheming of ways to score without getting caught. I was working or conning or stealing funds to pay for alcohol and other chemicals. I was planning excuses to be alone so that loved ones would not see how messed up I was going to get or how much or which chemicals I was filling my life with. This need and focus I understand, and believe me, when I was driven by this, I would be filled. Sooner or later I would consume what I was being driven for because I would never stop searching, scheming or striving for that next drunk or fix.

Jesus loved to use parables and metaphors that those in His audience would understand well and relate to. That's why there are so many references to shepherds and fishermen. I believe that if Jesus were here physically talking to me and other addicts with this message today He'd be more likely to say blessed are those who fiend for righteousness, for they shall be filled. That I understand. I have to seek it wholly, completely, passionately and above everything else. How often have I heard in the rooms that if someone will pursue recovery with the same passion and need that they pursued alcohol and drugs that they are sure to find it. This is the same idea spoken by the One who understands what drives us the way an engineer understands why what he designed functions the way it does.

So now I understand how driven towards righteousness I need to be filled. But what is righteousness. Isn't it one of those "Christian" words like holy which are basically there to remind me that I need to be perfect to please God and can't? That's pretty much how I used to feel about the word. When legalistic religious folk talk about how I need to be holy all I see is how I don't measure up. I feel such condemnation, but that is due to my reaction and lack of understanding as much as it is due to anything in or about the lawyer. But when someone says that when unsure what the will of God is and or at every decision or choice strive to simply do the next right thing, I get that. I realize that I won't always succeed, that's why we need grace, but I need to try to the best of my ability to always do the next right thing in everything and every situation. This cliche often heard in the rooms is true, and it is another way of saying righteousness.

The word ‘righteousness’ comes from Greek word “dikaiosyne”, meaning rightness, quality of rightness or justice.It is justice held in love, both within the man and in the world. It is the rightness judged by the standard of God’s code. It is being right with God.

One of the foundational principles and virtues behind the steps of recovery is justice. Specifically, justice is the virtue upon which Step nine, "made direct amends to such people [those we have listed that we have wronged] wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." I have seen time and time again an unwillingness to clean up our side of the street and make amends lead to relapse. Making things right is so important.

Patience, love and tolerance is the code of recovery. But how can I love someone if I won't treat them right and if I won't give them justice for wrongs I have done to them? That's self-preservation and fear motivating me, not love. In Step Three I surrendered my life and my will to the care of God. I can not be surrendered to God's will for me if I am not striving with everything I am, if I am not fiening, to do what I know He wants me to do. If am avoiding doing the next right thing then my relationship with God suffers and I can not be in right standing with my Creator.

But I have found through experience that when I fiend for relationship with God, when I put being right with Him above all else, when my every action displays a desire within my heart to do the next right thing then I have found myself filled with contentment, peace, joy, recovery, satisfaction, conscious contact with God, and everything else I need to meet every spiritual, mental, emotional and physical need that I have. It has never failed me. This is my experience, strength and hope about hungering and thirsting for righteousness.

Blessed Are The Meek?

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

This is the sentence from the Beatitudes that I have had the most trouble with. I believe that my problems with it are common, even to the point where some who have written on the topic have gone as far as to simply try to escape the confusion and contradiction that seems to be in this statement by redefining the words. But I do not believe that Jesus was speaking in code, but rather saying exactly what He meant. I have come to realize that on the Road to Recovery, this beatitude is one my most fundamental foundation truths. I must walk in this, not only to inherit or be given, dominion over the things I encounter on this earth but to stay clean and sober.

While it is not necessary to redefine any words, especially the word meek, to understand and incorporate this teaching, it is necessary that word is understood correctly. One of the issues with the English language that makes it so difficult to learn (let's face it, after at least 12 years of formal education on the subject most do not know it well, and that's people that were born into families where it is spoken and whose first words were in English) is that a single word can often have multiple meanings, and meanings can change over years. If I were to say someone is gay, few reading this would think anything other than that person is attracted to people of the same sex. And yet less than a hundred years ago people reading that statement would think I was swaying the person is happily excited, which is still the number one definition of the word gay according to Webster. Homosexual is number four. But to most English speaking people today, homosexual is the number one definition of the word gay, if not the only one. This is important information to know when reading older literature or singing Christmas carols if we are to understand what we are reading and singing about.

The same is true of the scriptures, which were translated into English so long ago. So I would like to take a quick look at meekness in the Bible. But first a look at Webster to determine our parameters for defining the word meek. Definition of MEEK: 1: enduring injury with patience and without resentment : mild 2: deficient in spirit and courage : submissive 3: not violent or strong : moderate. Many I'm sure will see right away where I am going with this blog entry and how this applies to recovery, but as I tend to be wordy and try to break things down to the point where anyone able to read the words can understand what I am trying to say without question, I shall continue.

The word meek is defined as "showing patience, humility, and gentleness." But we tend to understand it more often by its other definition: "easily imposed upon; submissive due to being deficient in spirit and courage."
Jesus modeled meekness for us and defined Himself as such when He tells us in Matthew 11:29, "For I am gentle and humble in heart..." I believe the word meek is much like the word gay. Dictionaries can put the number one definition in print in several different ways for us, but it doesn't matter. Common usage today dictates the number two definition and most of us don't realize we're wrong or care enough to look for another definition. I never did until recently. I just thought, how strange.

My idea of meekness had something to do with humility and humbleness but more to do with being easily imposed upon due to being deficient in spirit and courage. I believe this understanding of the word is common. Statements such as "The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights." by J. Paul Getty, "It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it." by Kin Hubbard, and, one of my all time favorite quotes on the subject because it expressed my own feelings, "The meek shall inherit the earth? Well... I don't think so. If by meek you mean friendly and introverted, okay maybe, but if by meek you mean unwilling to take a chance, then never. If I was a betting man and I had to wager on who I thought would inherit the earth, my money would be on the curious." by Jim Coudal.

My instinctual understanding of the word meek became reinforced by prison. I can assure anyone reading who may not have personal experience that the easily impressed upon and submissive due to lack of character and courage will inherit nothing behind the steel walls of our penal institutions but forced servitude, beatings and sexual abuse, if not death. But my understanding, reinforced or not, was wrong, as is those of the comedians who play on our misunderstanding for laughs and the pundits who twist words to appear wise or fool themselves into believing that they don't need God.

The first definition is indeed the correct one and the definition that relates to spiritually inheriting and recovery. To be meek is to endure injury with patience and without resentment. Contrary to what I learned in prison, if someone calls me a name or bumps into me without an apology I do not have to strike out hard and fast with a fist or a boot to make sure I am not seen as weak and made a target for worse. The scripture teaches another way. I can indeed let things go without retaliation. I can be called names without having to sling wordy arrows in return and without it truly effecting who I am or how I feel and think of myself. I can be struck without having having to strike back. I can forgive the person who hurts me over and over. I can love my enemy and be good to those who persecute me. This is the meekness of Christ. The strength to stand stand and say go ahead and say what you want to about me, do what your fear drives you to do, but I'm going to love you anyway, without resentment or regret.

Jesus didn't pull some word out of his hat and use it as code. When He said what He did about meekness, He was quoting an exact scripture from the Psalms and the idea behind many other uses of the word in the Old Testament. My experience in recovery has confirmed this to me.

Psalms 22:26 The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever. 27 All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the LORD: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before Thee. 28 For the kingdom is the LORD'S: and He is the governor among the nations.

Those who are strong enough to let slights and resentments go and who are humble, patient, gentle and kind to others shall eat and be satisfied, and their example and the results will cause others to remember that there is a power greater than us and the need to seek Him. For everything is God's, and He is in control. This is step work in the program of recovery. Living without putting our needs and rights first is service and patience, love and tolerance. The Third Step prayer goes with this verse. "God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt (Because I and the kingdom or earth or situation or whatever is Yours and You are in control). Relieve me of the bondage of self (my need to be right, my right to do what I want when I want, including retaliate against those who wrong me and hanging on to my resentments), that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them (this is key) may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life (so that my victory can then lead others to see and remember who You are). May I do Thy will always!"

Psalms 25:8 Good and upright is the LORD: therefore will He teach sinners in the way. 9 The meek will He guide in judgment: and the meek will He teach his way. Those who are strong enough to let slights and resentments go and who are humble, patient, gentle and kind to others, those who practice the spiritual principles of recovery in all their affairs when it comes to letting go of resentments and how we are to treat others and keep a right-sized ego will be taught and guided by God. If we do not believe this, than what is the point of practicing the principles of recovery or asking a Higher Power for guidance?

Psalms 37:7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth. 10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be. 11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

This is the very scripture that Jesus quotes in the beatitudes and it deals with the need to seek God and wait patiently for His guidance while not acting of reacting in anger. It tells us not to worry but to trust God, and if we are humble and treat others with love and let go of resentments, we shall overcome. The Big Book tells us that as alcoholics and addicts we must let go of anger for it is the luxury of other types of human beings than we are. It's toxic poisons can not be tasted of safely by the addict and chapter five, "How It Works" tells us that when it comes to ways that manifestations of self have brought destruction to our lives, "resentment is the number one offender." If I want to stay sober and walk happy, joyous and free it would seem that meekness is indeed the key that opens the door to relationship with my Creator and makes the victory that should give Him glory possible.

Psalms 45:1-4, Psalms 147:6, Psalms 149:4, Isaiah 29:18 & 19, Isaiah 61:1-3, and Zephaniah 2:3 are a few more scriptures that promise a blessing on those who are meek and willing to listen to and be led by God. The word, as Jesus used it, is used over 20 times in the Bible and yet at no time did it hint at or include a lack of character or strength. We are to be strong and have good courage because we can trust in our God. We are to be humble and right-sized in our egos, submitting to the will, guidance and direction of God, and we are to love and forgive as we have been loved and forgiven, releasing resentment and our right to be right. This is the Biblical definition of the word meek, and when I am able to walk in it, I walk in victory over drugs and alcohol, victory over my character defects and selfish nature, and I am given (inheritance) victory and dominion over my little share of reality or earth. How wonderful, amazing and important it is to be meek.

Blessed Are They That Mourn?

Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.

When I was younger I found this statement odd. After all, God is all-powerful and could prevent so much pain and suffering and misery if only He would. I would much rather not have heartache than receive comfort.But this attitude was childish. I never realized that until I found myself on the Road to Recovery pursuing a relationship with my Creator.

It's easy to say that I should be blessed, because I have mourned plenty. I have buried over 50 friends and family members in the last 30 years. That's an average of more than one for each of my forty years on this planet. I have suffered many loses that did not involve physical death as well. But I won't rehash it all here, because to mourn does not necessarily mean to feel sorry for ones self or to complain because of loss. I do not believe, and I feel the Scriptures back me up on this, that God is a fan of griping and complaining. Rejoice in the Lord, always, and again I say rejoice. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God. I could go on.

So how can it be that the mournful are to be blessed if the will of God is for us to be thankful and rejoice in all things? Well, I can't speak for everyone. All I can do is share my experience, strength and hope. But there is a reason why it is often said in the rooms that pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth. It is so easy for me to get caught up in the day to day of this life and to be comfortable. In my past I have often let me relationship with God dwindle when I felt comfortable and satisfied with my existence. But during times of loss and heartache, times when it is natural to mourn, I realize that something is missing in my life.

For years I tried to fill the hole in my life and soul with alcohol, drugs, excitement, sex, etc. Anything I could think of to change the way I felt or distract me from the simple fact that I didn't like myself very much and hated the emptiness that seemed to ever grow within me. When the pain, frustration and confusion became great enough and the chemicals and other distractions not only ceased to provide escape but also made things worse, I was forced to look for something else to make life worth living. I found what I was looking for in a personal connection and relationship with my Creator. And in the process of getting to know my God, I found peace and comfort.

The vast majority of the things I have mourned in my 40 years have been a direct result of my own actions, choices and reactions. I brought so much of the pain that I have experienced on myself. I always knew this to be true to an extent, but when I worked my fourth and fifth steps I got a much clearer picture and understanding of this basic principle. My reactions to the people and situations in my life coupled with the desire to live my own way under the lordship of my own will filled my life with pain, disaster and loss.

It is those who are sick who seek healing. It is those who are hurting who hunt for relief. It is those who experience loss who search for something to fill the emptiness within. It is those who mourn who seek comfort. There is a reason why the Holy Spirit is also called the Comforter. The comfort and peace that I searched for for so many years and that I have today comes from relationship with God. It is found in contact with the Spirit of Comfort within me through grace. If I was never unsatisfied with my life, I would have had no reason to pursue relationship with God. But I firmly believe that it is only in such a relationship that life can truly be satisfying, joyful and worth living.

Today I am grateful for the pain and loss I have experienced, because it has driven me to the wilderness where my survival could only be found in relationship with God. I found the comfort I didn't realize I needed before loss ate my life. Because of mourning I sought God. Because I sought God, I found Him. In finding connection with my Creator I found comfort. Today I can say that He has turned my mourning into dancing. Today I have something that can not be taken away from me by the loss of anything in this realm. I have something eternal and spiritual which can fill and meet every need in my life. There is such a comfort in that.

Maybe there is someone out there who never felt loss of any kind and still sought a relationship with God. But that is not my experience. I have been richly and abundantly blessed and comforted because my pain and loss drove me to find something that could not be killed, lost or stolen. I am grateful for my times of mourning because through them I found what has truly blessed my life.

Poor In Spirit?

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Are these just the nice words of a religious poem or something that we say yes, that is ideal and then go about our regular lives? Or are these the rantings of a poor prophet against the evils and snares of prosperity? Or are these indeed the words of God telling us how to have the kingdom of heaven in our lives?

I believe it is the latter. But if I believe that, I need to apply that. If I believe those words to be truth, then something within me needs to change when I acknowledge that truth. One test of truth is that when one is confronted by and understands truth, there is a permanent change in that person.

Take for example a person who believes in the myth that cats and dogs are always deadly enemies that can not be in the same proximity without violence unless a leash or some other restraint is used to prevent said violence. They may have reason to believe this. They may have heard about people who fight "like cats and dogs." They may have seen dogs chasing cats. They may have seen a cat approached by a dog raise its fur, hiss and spat, then slap at the canine's eyes with its claws. They may have watched too much Tom and Jerry as a child. Then one day they walk into a friend's home and see, much to their surprise, a dog and a cat curled up together on the couch. There is no fighting, and their master is not paying them the slightest attention. Suddenly they are given evidence that the preconceived idea of cats and dogs as enemies is not always true. The truth is that some dogs will kill a cat on sight, and some cats will attack a dog viciously or flee the moment there is a dog in the area. But some dogs and some cats can coexist quite peacefully. Exposure to this truth will change a person who believes otherwise. They will no longer believe that all cats and dogs fight. This of course is a simplistic example, but it illustrates my point.

That point being that if I am exposed to something that is true, and I come to the understanding that it is indeed truth, then something in my thought process, my attitude, my emotions, my actions, or some combination of these should be changed. But if I am to be changed by a simple statement of truth, I need to understand it.

So what does it mean to be poor in spirit? I looked up the word poor in the dictionary. I must admit that I felt a little foolish doing it. I am well aware of what it means to be poor. By American standards, I am quite poor. By the standards of many other geographic locations I am so rich that people envious of my life would risk theirs to sneak into this county to work hard at jobs I would complain about to be as poor as me. But that makes it seem like the meaning of the word poor is subjective, and definitions should not be subjective, but rather definitive. I think we play a very dangerous game when we begin to believe that the truth is subjective.

So to the dictionary I went, and I saw what I expected to, at least at first.

Definition of POOR:
1: a: lacking material possessions b: of, relating to, or characterized by poverty

This is the definition that is most often used, the most frequent meaning of the word, and the one that I understand most. But this can't be the meaning as intended in the poor in spirit shall have the kingdom of heaven. First, every spirit is lacking in "material" possessions. Spirits are not material can not posses material things, hence the saying, "You can't take it with you." And the next part doesn't seem to fit either. A spirit that is characterized by poverty does not have its basic needs met, and it makes no sense that God, who portrays Himself as a loving Father and promises to take care of us, would require those who would have the kingdom of heaven to go through this life in a state of spiritual need and poverty.

So then what is the second definition of poor?
2: a: less than adequate : meager b: small in worth

This doesn't fit either and for the same reason as the second part of definition number one. Every spirit has what is adequate to have a relationship with its Creator, and I believe we have covered why having less than we need spiritually does not make sense as a prerequisite for spiritual inheritance. But what about small in worth? Absolutely not. We humans are all of great value to our Creator. Understanding this about ourselves and about others is the key to understanding the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves. We are to understand that we are greatly loved and valued by God and to treat ourselves and live as though we are valuable. Then, having learned to treat ourselves as valuable to God, we are to understand the truth that God values all those we come in contact with, our neighbors on this floating rock, with the same love and great value and treat them accordingly. So no, Christ was not saying blessed are those with no spiritual value.

3: exciting pity
4: a: inferior in quality or value b: humble, unpretentious c: mean, petty
5: lean, emaciated
6: barren, unproductive —used of land
7: indifferent, unfavorable
8: lacking a normal or adequate supply of something specified —often used in combination

The above are the rest of the definitions, according to Webster. Three implies neediness, which has been covered. Also covered are 4a, 5, 7 and 8. It has already been mentioned that we are to love our fellows, so it would seem that 4c has also been covered. After all, I doubt anyone would listen long to any argument which states that Christ said blessed are the spiritually mean and petty, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Our spirits recognize the ridiculousness of that when it is stated so bluntly. Unfortunately, it is often what religious believe as evidenced by their actions.

So what's left? 4b and 6. Well, faith without works is dead and work produces a result. Six is therefore eliminated because the idea that the kingdom of heaven belongs to those who are unfruitful and unproductive does not fit the equation. Besides, that definition is "used of land." And by process of elimination we arrive at the last definition of 4b: humble, unpretentious.

It seems like I've used a lot of words and wasted a lot of time to get here, when most of us have already been told or figured out that poor in spirit is humble in spirit or unpretentious of spirit. But I wanted to look at it the way I did because I wanted to understand why the word poor is used rather than humble. I think the answer to that can be found in the idea that as much as we have eliminated the definitions of need above, they do fit in a way after all. I find it interesting that the first known use of the English word poor was in the 13th century. That is a long time after these words were spoken in Aramaic. The English word poor is derived from the Latin word pauper and is related to the Latin words paucus, meaning little, and parere, meaning to give birth to and produce.

I have learned that to be humble means to have a right sized ego. If I am humble I will not think too highly of myself, but I will also not think too lowly of myself. And my understanding of how little I can do on my own and of how greatly I am loved and valued by my Creator is related to how and what I produce or give birth to spiritually.

Christ stood on a mountain, effectively saying, blessed are those who have a right-sized ego, who understand how lowly and worthless they are in and of themselves when compared to the Artist who painted all of existence and yet also how highly they are valued by that same artist and what they are worth as precious to Him. Blessed are those who don't puff themselves up with pride to feed their egos or tear themselves down with reverse pride and belittle their true value to God. Blessed are those who understand that without relationship with our Creator we are nothing and then upon understanding the lack and poverty of spirit that comes from not having connection with He who created them, pursue relationship with God with the same desperate passion that a starving man pursues food for his body. Blessed are they, for theirs, those who understand they have value but it's not from anything they have done or deserve and pursue God with the desperate need of the poor, for in their desperate desire to have relationship with God, they shall find what they seek and become spiritually productive, giving birth to the kingdom of heaven in their lives.

The Faith Of A Child

Little boy: Daddy why is the sky blue?

Father: Because the Earth's atmosphere reflects more of the blue parts of the light spectrum than any of the others.

Little boy: What's a light spectrum?

Father: Well, light travels through the air and if something reflects all of it, we see white. If none of it is reflected we see the color black, and all the colors we see are when just a piece of the light is reflected and the rest is absorbed by whatever the light hit or passed through.

Little Boy: But why does the light reflect differently from different things, Daddy?

Father: So that we can identify things and understand them better based on how they reflect differently, like how you know which car is mine and which car is your mom's because they're different colors. And also so that you can see colors. God wanted you to be able to see the beauty of colors in His creation so He created light to have the properties that it does.

Little boy: But why? If we never saw colors we wouldn't miss them so why did God want us to see them?

Father chuckling: That's a good question, son. God wanted us to see and experience beauty in His creation so that we would understand that God is beautiful and be prepared to recognize Him when we see Him some day.

Little Boy: But why doesn't God just let us see Him now?

Father: Son, God is so very beautiful that if we were to see Him before we're ready we'd just be so in entranced by His beauty we couldn't help but to love Him and not be able to think about or do anything else but stand there looking at Him and loving Him.

Little boy: But doesn't God want us to love Him?

Father: Yes. He wants that very much, but He wants us to love him for who He is and not just what He looks like or what He can do. He wants us to get to know Him personally. Who's the most beautiful woman in the world?

Little boy: Mommy!

Father: That's right. But why do you love Mommy?

Little boy: Because she loves me and holds me and pats my back when I get scared and takes care of me when I'm sick and she smiles at me and she teaches me things and she smells like cookies!

Father chuckling: Ok so you see how even though you know she's beautiful you love her for things other than how she looks. That's the way it's supposed to be. We should care about people because of who they are, not because of how they look. And God wants us to feel the same about Him, but He's so very beautiful that we would forget everything else if we saw Him. So He makes Himself invisible to human eyes and then lets us see things that tell us about how wonderful He is. Like sunsets.

Little boy: And puppies!

Father: Yes, and puppies.

Little boy: So why is the sky a different color at sunset?

Often those of us who have survived the juvenile stage of humanity think of children as foolish and gullible. We tell children who have not yet learned that people lie little white lies like "If you're good, Santa will bring you a present," or "If you put that tooth under your pillow, the Tooth Fairy will come take it and leave you money." Then we tell ourselves when we see the hurt and disillusion in their eyes at finally learning the truth that it's all part of growing up, and it's a lesson we all had to learn, mainly that everyone lies and you can't trust anyone, not even Mom and Dad. Personally, I feel we should be trying to teach our children exactly the opposite and telling them the truth from the start, but that's another topic.

The reason that I brought that up, is that I believe when we hear things like in order to obtain the kingdom of heaven we have to receive it as a child we say "Yes, we must have the faith of a child," but think, "I'm not going to be a gullible fool believing just anything, I need to understand." Then we, or at least I, have said to myself, if I don't understand it, I won't believe it.

But seriously, if having the faith of a child really a sign of ignorance and gullibility? It's a rare child that is still satisfied with the response of "Because I'm the parent and I said so, that's why," by the time they're five. The natural response of most children at that point is, "But why?" This is true, I believe, even when they only say it in their heads and frown in frustration at the answer to their question. Children are curious, and they want to know and understand. They watch their parents and mimic them. Little boys walk around with plastic hammers, "Fixing" things like their father's do. They watch. They parrot words and phrases, sometimes to the embarrassment of their parents. They ask questions that always lead to more questions. It's as though their every thought and activity can be traced back to an attempt to better understand their parents and the world they live in. They say with their actions, teach me you ways, my parents, so that I can be like you.

And yes, children trust their parents with a blind, sometimes even gullible, faith until they are given reason not to. Every parent will eventually give their child a reason to doubt. We're all human and fall short of perfection after all. And some parents will do so much damage that their child will learn not to trust anyone or anything, not even God. And I could express my feelings about those parents, but that is also another subject. My point is that children do indeed, at least at first, trust and believe their parents. So they ask questions. And when they hear something that sounds wrong, they run to those same parents for verification.

Little boy: Daddy, Tommy says that clouds are the left over gas from airplanes. Is that true? And Sally says an ant can carry a whole hundred times something heavier than itself? Is that true?

Father: Airplanes leave a trail that fades, but that's not what causes clouds. Remember the story of Jesus going up into the clouds? There weren't any airplanes then, so airplanes can't be the reason for clouds. And yes, ants are very strong and can carry....

Mothers and fathers and teachers and others faithfully answering questions with the truth while also teaching the young how to think for themselves is supposed to be a growing up. And it's the center, in my opinion, of the concept of having the faith of a child. It has nothing to do with some idea of non-questioning obedience. It's a rare child who unquestioningly obeys anything or anyone for very long.

Having the faith of a child says to God, I want to know you, I want to understand you, and I want to be like you in our actions and in our questions. It says God, why? Then ok, but if that's the answer to that, then why this? And why that? Because I want to know you. Teach me Your way that I may walk in truth. As a child understanding that I don't understand I will seek You and the answers believing that You were telling the truth when You said, "Seek and you will find."

I will be impatient and get frustrated when I am simply too immature to understand the answer yet. I will not understand when You can't give me the answer yet because I am still too young. But I will learn from what You do tell me, even when it's not what Tommy told me, and I will keep asking questions, and I will take my questions straight to You, and I will keep striving to know You God, and through that, we will have relationship, and I will grow spiritually until one day I can stand in Your presence and see past Your blinding beauty to who You are and I can understand as I am understood. That is having the faith of a child. And that is the attitude that will keep me seeking Him. That is the attitude that will cause me always remember that there is a power greater and higher than I who can not only keep me clean and sober, but teach and show me a better way to live than anything my limited mind could conceive of on its own.