Different But The Same

Last night my wife and I braced the cold and went to hear a friend of mine tell her story. As I've already indicated, my friend is female and therefore different than me. She is also several years younger than I am. She is from one of the Northern, non-Yankee states and a transplant to Texas. I am a native of Texas. She started drinking about the same age as I did, but did not hit full speed on the crazy train until later and held off on adding drugs to the booze for quite some time. I started a little younger and was doing coke to remedy hangovers at 13. Different. She never got arrested, and I went to prison. She has two precious daughters, and I am not a father. Differences, differences, differences, there are so many differences. And yet, our stories are much the same.

Hearing her story served as another reminder of the truth behind the statement often heard in the rooms of recovery to look for the similarities and not the differences. Seeing the similarities in my lives and the lives of others is crucial. First it makes seeing the common solution easier. No matter how different someone is or someone's life is from me/mine, every person on this planet has something so wonderful and important in common with me. We are all loved of God and as long as we are still breathing have a chance to find relationship with our Creator because of the grace He has provided to make relationship possible.

My friend and I have more than that in common. We are both powerless in our own strength over alcohol and drugs and under the wisdom and power of our own wills can not manage our lives. We both came to understand and believe that as powerless as we were and are, God has the power to overcome addiction and any other problem and is well able to manage the universe, much less our lives. We both made a decision to our will and our lives over to the care of God, because He loves and cares for us. We both took stock of our lives in the form of a written inventory and shared that inventory, admitting to God, ourselves, and at least one other person the exact nature of our wrongs. We both understand that our secrets will kill us, and that which is done in secret will come to light or there will be no lasting recovery. From our inventory we were both able to define and see areas in our life where our character was bankrupt. We both asked God to remove these character defects and then made a list of people we had harmed throughout our lives. We both began making amends to those people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. We both continue to take personal daily inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. We both seek to improve our conscious contact with our Creator through prayer and meditation, asking especially for the power and grace to do His will. As a result of doing these things, we have both found recovery. We are no longer powerless, because we are tapped in to the Ultimate Power. We have been set free and healed of a hopeless state of mind and body. We do not need nor wish to drink or drug today. We have both received miracles from God, and our lives, indeed, have become examples of what the love and power of God can do for those who will let Him and are willing to surrender. We both try to carry this message to other alcoholics and addicts and to practice the principles of relationship and surrender to God in all of our affairs.

My friend and I both had God shaped holes in our lives that we tried to fill and patch with chemicals. We both nearly died. We both lost relationships and things. We both suffered. We both hated our lives and ourselves. We were both dishonest and criminal. We both found a spiritual solution. We both worked the steps of recovery, and we both got well. Out stories are the same. Today, my friend is happy (more than not), joyous and fee woman with a real and beautiful smile and a life worth living. Today I am a happy, joyous and free man with a real and fast smile and a life worth living. Our stories are the same, and that is why I cried as she spoke, because the similarities tore at my heart, and that is also why I smiled as she spoke, because God did for her what He has done for me. And that is why I can write with complete faith and confidence that if you are an alcoholic or addict reading this, that our stories can also be the same. There is a solution. There is one powerful enough to set you free. That one is God- may you find Him now.